A boy becomes a man

My son Travis, who has been involved in bail enforcement since he was 15, is facing a major accomplishment on 12/16/06. He is being raised up as a Master Mason. No small task for a 20 year old struggling with the responsibility of being a man and the desire to screw off. He has evolved into a stout and complicated young man. He is politically astute, compassionate to others, an accomplished musician, yet hard to get close to.

As I reflect on his formative years, I realize that I had not been home as much as I should have, and as a result, failed him and his brother and sister. I forced my desires on them all instead of nurturing their own attributes and desires. My defense is that the product of my constantly working is the lifestyle that they all enjoy.

I don't know that I could have or would have changed anything if I were to do it all over. I am clearly a product of my own upbringing, and have truly done all that I could to support their decisions. Whether I believed the decisions that they took were in their best interest or not, I granted them the opportunity to fail. This is a freedom the less courageous fail to understand. It takes balls to let someone you love and pledged to protect go down the wrong path. But allowing them to take chances that they have the ability to recover from is far better than taking the decision from or for them.

Travis is embarking on a different path, one taken by his future brothers since antiquity. A path of honor, courage and integrity, and penalties for failing his brethren. Being allowed to fail as a child has prepared him for the importance of not failing when the stakes are higher and people depend on him to succeed.

I am proud that he has chosen this path and of the man he has become. One that can comprehend the oaths he has taken, and the import they represent. There are others that are just as proud of him. Men that have been mentors to me and have an obligation to him as he has to them. Joe Stiles, Scott Harrell, Paul Burch, George Edelen, Robert Collins, Richard Cutlip have all been a part of both of our lives, integral to our maturation and growth. Understanding ourselves to be able to understand others is both an achievement and a goal to obtain.

Enjoy the walk down that path, young man. It is as well traveled as it is ignored. There is always light at the end of it...